Some Insurance Humor

It Happened This Way!

These are real explanations of how car accidents happened, as reported by drivers of rented cars. The list came from the insurance claim form files of Tilden, Ltd., one of Canada’s foremost car rental agencies.

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have."

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the back side. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law in the other seat, and headed over the embankment."

"I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

"I first saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman when he bounced off the hood of my car."

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."

"A pedestrian I did not see hit me, then went sliding under my car."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished."

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough, and found myself in a different direction, going in the wrong direction."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end."

"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"My car was illegally parked as I backed into the other vehicle."

"I was thrown from my car as I left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"I thought the window was down but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it."

"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."

"The pedestrian had no idea what direction to go, so I ran over him."

"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

I hope you enjoy these as much as I have. I first saw them in the Big Spring, Texas Herald in 1980. The article was so worn, it was impossible to read. I felt it was well worth saving. Kathy Bayes.

Another One, Not Sure If It's True, But Awfully Funny!!! 

I'm writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause for my accident. You said in your letter I should explain more fully, and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident I was Working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and hardware. Rather than Carry the now unneeded tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down; this explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of the pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I started a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up; this accounts for my two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools, and fortunately only 3 vertebrae were cracked. I'm sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind …

I let go

of the